Kem Meyer Talks Women

This blog focuses on a variety of topics related to creativity and community and this series explores community among women. You can read more interviews from the series by clicking the links at the bottom of this post.

When I first conceived this idea for a blog series, a list of people I’ve met or become friends with over the years quickly built in my head.

But even though I don’t know Kem Meyer very well personally, I was dead set on getting her in the game too.  She’s a fresh voice of faith, a great communicator and an influencer at Granger Community Church and Less Clutter, Less Noise.

Sarah: You’re a talented leader, so people probably take you to be a super confident person. But  do you ever find jealous thoughts creeping into your mind and if so, how do you avoid them?

Kem: I think we all have feelings of insecurity—there are days when I look around and feel like everyone else is running circles around me. I’m tempted for a nano second to be discouraged by my own inadequacies, but I bounce those thoughts in a heartbeat. Whenever unproductive sniveling thoughts like that creep into my subconscious, it’s my little internal alarm to re-focus on first things first. And, MY first thing, might be different than YOUR first thing. And, for anyone who might be jealous of me? I encourage them to join me in the land of reality. I know there’s no one out there who has it all together—me included.

I have good runs where I’m early to bed, early to rise, proactive andproductive. I’m responsive to my team, I’m smiling, exercising, blogging profusely, sharp and in complete control of my schedule. I meet the kids off the bus, serve a home-cooked meal to my family and surprise my husband with unscheduled date nights.

Then, there are those other runs where my schedule starts to control me and I consume comfort food, stop exercising, stop sleeping, get weeks behind on email, forget to turn off the bath water and flood the bathroom, mow over the phone, feed the kids cereal and sleep through date nights. One time I was in so over my head, pulled so many different directions that I actually left the house without my shirt on. I’m not lying. I did that. Left for work and completely forgot to put my shirt on. I remembered my coat. I just didn’t have a shirt on under it. I was at the office before I realized it.

So it’s all about moving back and forth between the two extremes for me and spending time on both sides to appreciate the place I’m supposed to be. We’re all struggling to do the best with what God’s trusted us with —nothing more—nothing less.

Sarah: Okay, the shirt story alone was worth the interview. The faith arena sometimes seems to run shorter on female leaders than males. Who is a great female leader or writer that you look up to/read? And what grabs you about them?

Kem: The bottom line? The gender gap just isn’t an issue for me. I typically avoid the whole topic because many times it’s not even relevant. I don’t even know to speak to it. I don’t believe gender “equality” or “equal representation” is a productive objective. When that’s the goal… too many people are put in roles they may not be qualified for or a fit for just to cover the “diversity” spread. I’m in the get-the-right-person-for-the-right-role camp. Don’t look to include or exclude someone because of their ethnicity or gender. If I had personal experience with gender discrimination (different than equality), I might be more passionateabout it. But, since I haven’t—I don’t feel qualified to answer this just because I’m a woman. That being said—I have male and female leaders and writers I look up to. I choose to elevate their cause and/or contribution over their gender. Annoying that I didn’t really answer the question, isn’t it? :)

Sarah: Not at all. That’s a different issue altogether, but I’m sure people resonate with what you’re saying. Gender will never be part of my platform either. But back to our fabulous gender…Sometimes women (and men) get into conflict and then can’t find their way back from grudges and gossip to a more reasonable playing field. Have you learned anything in life that has helped you navigate that?

We’re all prone to “fill in the blanks” and make assumptions based on a snapshot. I’ve done it to others and it’s been done to me. It’s particularly easy to do when someone’s actions don’t match up to what you’re used to in your own life. I’m thankful for the hard lessons I’ve learned in this area, because I jump to conclusions a lot less in life. I’m learning that the actions don’t tell the whole story and I get the opportunity to dig deeper to learn about the story behind the person…behind the behavior. I’m better because of it and would miss out on SO MUCH that’s great in this world if I lived life running from what’s new & unknown.

The real boot camp for me in this area was when my daughter hit turbulent times in adolescence. I’m convinced they would have been a lot less turbulent if I hadn’t feared some of the new subcultures she was resonating with. I reacted without taking the time to learn about it first. Those 15-18 year old years with her were enlightening in so many ways. I grew up as much as she did.

Matthew 6:22 — Your eyes are like a window for your body. When they are good, you have all the light you need.

[[Note from Sarah: If you enjoyed this interview, you might want to check out the others in this series. Check out other interviews with blogger Lauren Chandler, Lindsey Nobles , leader and blogger Jenni Catron, author Leeana Tankersley, New York Times Best Selling Author Ann Voskamp, non-profit leader Jena Nardella , blogger Heather Whittaker and author Rachel Held Evans.]]