Horse Races, Candles and Fresh Beats: A Treatise On Why I’ve Been Away

So…in explanation for the lapse in posts…

…the last couple weeks have been…harrowing.

(This, by the way, is officially the first time I’ve ever used the word “harrowing” in my life. And you were there.)

First off, my husband,  the eleven month old emperor and I just returned from a ten day stint traveling and speaking across 2,500 miles. I am happy to report that two planes, two rental cars, three hotels, one friend’s guest room and many, many freeze-dried yogurt snacks later, we arrived safely back in Michigan with only minor casualties (a slightly bloodied baby lip, a diaper rash, less than half a cup of swallowed sand and a handful of missing baby socks).

The trip, by the way, involved a stop off at Keeneland, thanks to college bud Josh Salsburey who scored some special passes using his Lexington attorney connections (that sentence makes him sound more powerful than he is). I had mixed feelings, watching horses compete, wondering if the horses really liked to race and whether the women watching really liked to wear three inch heels and $700 feather hats, or if all of this just accidentally evolved over time. I walked away smelling like old money and contemplating several new mysteries, like how is it that horse racing requires garden party attire and how did fans manage to get every lace parasol left on the planet shipped to Kentucky for this occasion?

We got back home Sunday at 11 p.m. and got back to work eight hours later. (Is anyone really under the illusion that teens learn best at 7:20 a.m.?) Monday happened to be the beginning of 4th quarter, which means I inherited all new rosters (did I mention one class had 40 names on it? ) full of all new students who may or may not cuss me out over the next nine weeks. The suspense is killing me.

Then it was onto the Calvin Faith and Writing festival in Grand Rapids. For those of you who don’t know, Grand Rapids is apparently built directly over some sort of magnetic pole that sucks everyone with a Christian publishing dream to the town’s exact coordinates. I think I counted six Christian publishers based there amongst the vendors.

(As an aside, Mike, my marketing guy also claims Grand Rapids is the site of a lake where people at one time dumped an excess supply of pianos. Don’t worry if you don’t buy it. My editor, Angela, didn’t either. Mike has a habit of sleuthing around Zondervan vaults with his flashlight after hours…)

In GR, I got to give away books (its even easier to give away books than it is to sell them!), while perched at a booth bearing gigantic photos that at least slightly resembled the real world me, Jason Boyett, Rachel Held Evans and Leeana Tankersley. The trip also involved eating something called Saag and having lunch with Nathan, who I somehow met in GR even though he works at the college where I adjunct teach and lives like a block (give or take a bit) away from us. Finally, I got to mill around a reception of Zondervan staff and authors, who told me about new products like the I-pad Bible app, which I immediately knew I’d never be tech-savvy or cool enough to own, even though it sounds completely awesome. Before it all ended, Jason Boyett had squeezed into the backseat of the Sentra (between the carseat and the Dr.Pepper 12 pack of course) and Rachel Held Evans had taken the navigator seat in our mission to get back to the hotel while rescuing Leeanna Tankersley from a rental car along the way (it was one of those new energy-efficient models that only starts via jumper cables).

I got back Saturday morning and chopped up tomatoes for bruschetta and strawberries for fruit salad before heading to the Merchant-Artist walking tour in downtown Jackson. Our friend, Wendy–who owns a framing shop downtown–organized a fantastic event where downtown businesses hosted authors, musicians and artists.  I scored a spot at the Swan Creek Candle Co. which, as anyone who has read my book knows, is like putting an alcoholic in a brewery. (Confession: I did walk away with a candle, however they GAVE it to me, so you can’t lump it in with my usual candle-hoarding. I also traded a Picking Dandelions book to Sharon Sunday, the artist posted at Swan Creek, in exchange for a snazzy multi-colored sunflower drawing. Bonus.)

The event ended at 3:00, but I skipped out at 2:00, because we’d invited 20 family members to our house to celebrate the emperor’s coming 1st Birthday. The party (which I decorated for back on Wednesday, amidst prayers the streamers would hold their crisp spirals for at least three days) was Fresh-Beat-Band themed. (If you haven’t seen the Fresh Beats, you’ve never lived, by the way.) The Fresh Beat Band is Justus’ favorite show, if you can claim he has a favorite, which we surmised he does after he began pushing us out of the way so we didn’t block his view of the screen when they were on (we barely let him watch any TV, I promise.)

We had to pull a few strings to implement the Emperor’s vision, since stores have yet to carry Fresh Beat party supplies (What is Nickelodeon thinking?). Thank God for generic “Rock on” plateware, plastic microphone decorations, and Office Depot’s poster-printing department, which we combined with enough talent to convince our 1 year old he was having a REAL fresh beat party. (Do NOT tell him otherwise.)

The party went smoothly, partly–I think–because the ratio was 2 kid to 18 adult guests. Since my sister-in-law just had her second baby (did I mention I also got to drive to Ohio Tuesday to meet her–ABBY JOY–in the middle of all this?), that means we’ll need to invite an extra 9 adults next year to keep our current proportions.

Some family guests stayed over, which made for a fun night of China Town (thanks to my brother) and a morning of french toast (thanks to Chuck). The rest of the afternoon lazily drifted by, as the Cunninghams committed to vegging-out in their pajamas and testing out all of Justus’ new toys. (Don’t worry. We let Justus help.)

So this is the mayhem that warranted a brief break from blogging my usual 3-4 times a week. But I’m happy to have  it successfully behind me, and to get back into the normal more scattered, spaced-out pace of mommying, teaching, authoring and blogging.

Thanks for the two weeks of relative vacation, readers. Let’s connect again. :)