Thank You, Life, For Giving Me 5,000 Things to Accomplish in Any Given 15 Minute Period

You may have seen Jimmy Fallon do his thank you card bit. That is, if you’re ever up that late with nothing better to do than watch Jimmy Fallon.

• Thank you cottage cheese container (that I wisely tucked into my purse for the 2 mile drive home) for popping your lid and hurling your little cheese curds all over my mints and camera charger.
• Thank you. mother-in-law’s coffee table, for showing my ten month old son who’s boss. He tangled with the wrong piece of furniture and has the goose egg to prove it. No doubt this will be part of what keeps him humble in the long run.
• Thank you, students who cuss me out on the way out the door (which you slam), for giving yourselves and me a five day break from seeing each other.
• Thank you, salmon, for being so ridiculously easy to cook. There should be more foods like you.
•  Thank you, memory, for remembering to thaw the salmon ahead of time. You should do that more often.
• Thank you, little manic Jack Russell, for disposing of the leftover from last week, hard-as-a-rock breadsticks.
• Thank you, dear husband o’ mine, for replacing that shredded windshield wiper, so that we do not have to do a repeat of your 22-year-old self sticking his arm out the window while driving in order to clear the windshield.
• Thank you, school bell, for still ringing every hour, even on today–our teacher records day–when the students are NOT in school. How would we ever know what time it is without you?
• Thank you, classroom motion sensor lights, for cutting the lights repeatedly all day when there are no students in the room to wander around aimlessly to keep you on.  I now love my desk lamp more than you.
• Thank you, readers, who at least buy my book and leave it on your to-read stack for a while. I still get the royalties for your paper-weight.
• Thank you, little brothers and Mike Willard, for inviting me to do your NCAA bracket thingies, even though I choose close matches by which team lives in the warmer climate. (Well-sunned people are happy, high performing people.  Had I been raised in AZ rather than MI, I might have been in the WNBA.)